Repent and Forgive • 2 Samuel 3

46:07 Teaching begins

Notes

One person who changes his mind can influence a whole nation. Its a turning point when you find out: “I am genuinely wrong,” and you change your mind. That’s repentance: you change your mind and you change your whole direction. That’s the good news about Jesus, that He gives you new life and new purpose.

The result of repentance is forgiveness, for you first, and then you turn around and pass on that forgiveness to everyone else around you.

What if you don’t think you’re wrong, you don’t change your mind, you don’t repent? You have hatred, bitterness, revenge, outrage, mistrust, cursing. Unforgiveness.

It’s in your best interest to repent and forgive.

I’m reading in 2 Samuel 3.

1. Abner starts a long war against David, v. 1.

A. Long war means for two years there is conflict between the house of Saul and the house of David.

1. The house of Saul refers to his son Ish-bosheth. We saw last week that the real power behind Ish-bosheth is Abner.

2. Abner decided that the next king of Israel should be Saul’s son. He’s put all his energy into this goal. He organized the northern tribes under Ish-bosheth. So far, so good. But then he tried subduing the house of David, who is king over the southern tribe of Judah.

B. Abner finds is that he is growing weaker and weaker. He makes no progress against David because David is growing stronger and stronger. Abner’s plans are not working out.

2. Meanwhile David’s family is growing, vv. 2-5.

A. He marries four more wives during the seven years and six months he ruled in Hebron.

1. David came to Hebron having married Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail of Carmel, two places in Judah.

2. Maachah is the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur. That’s an Aramean, or Syrian, kingdom in the northeast of Israel. It was probably a political marriage to provide for security and peace.

3. The rest of these women we don’t know anything about.

B. David has six sons. We’ll learn more about them when they come into the story.

3. Abner changes his mind about Ish-bosheth and leaves him to support David, vv. 6-11.

A. Abner was strengthening himself in the house of Saul, making himself the main leader under Ish-bosheth.

B. And then Ish-bosheth says, “Why did you sleep with my father’s concubine?” What he is doing is charging Abner with high treason and unfaithfulness.

1. Why Abner would do that would be to claim her as his own, and therefore have a right to be king himself.

2. Ish-bosheth might be thinking, “What more can Abner have but the throne? Is that what he’s going to do?”

C. We don’t really know if Abner slept with Saul’s concubine or if Ish-bosheth is just accusing him. In my mind, the way Abner reacts finally decided it for me. Abner really loses patience with Ish-bosheth.

1. Remember that Abner has been working to organize Israel again under Ish-bosheth.

2. He was very successful until he tried to subdue David and then nothing  Abner does succeeds. It’s like, God is really with David. And then Ish-bosheth accuses him of high treason.

3. Abner snaps. He says in effect, what do you think I’m doing here? Do I act like I’m an idiot working for Judah? I am showing covenant love to your father by not turning you over to David so he could wipe you out. [The incoming dynasty would kill everyone connected to the previous dynasty so there wouldn’t be anyone left to have a claim to the throne. Wipe out everyone connected to the previous regime, and then you have a stable reign. That’s how you transition rulers in the world.] I save you from that, and you charge me with treason?

4. I must be dumber than you are for prolonging the existence of this kingdom!

D. Abner is so angry that he swears by God that he will do everything he can to turn the kingdom over to David. He says, God swore this to David. He was working for Ish-bosheth, or in reality, he’s working for himself. But that’s going to change. He’s going to be working for God and for David from here on in.

E. This is a huge change of mind from thinking, the son of Saul has to be the guy to lead the country. Now he’s remembering what God said about David. and it’s clear to him: “David has been the guy all along, and I’ve been working against him and against God. I’m not wasting my time anymore.” Abner is repenting.

4. Now that Abner believes that David should be king he acts on it, vv. 12-21.

A. He sends messengers to David, who says, nothing happens until I get Michal back. She’s Saul’s daughter, they were married, he lost her when he ran from Saul, Saul married her off to someone else. Through her David has a legitimate claim to the throne and he wants to set all this right.

B. So he writes to Ish-bosheth “Give me back my wife.” Abner is the one who follows through with this, sends her husband home, and brings her to David. Okay, says David. Now we can work together.

C. Abner holds councils with the elders of the tribes of Israel.

1. In time past you were seeking to have David be king over you. Isn’t that interesting? Abner told them then, don’t do it. Ish-bosheth is the guy. Abner is completely reversing himself. He’s reminding them, God said David would be the one who would save us from all our enemies. He’s quoting the word of the Lord.

2. Abner specifically spends time with the tribe of Benjamin. That was Saul’s tribe and they would have questions. “Is David going to penalize us because we’re related to Saul? Will we be treated as second-class citizens? What’s he going to do with us?”

D. Abner takes all these questions and concerns to David at Hebron. “These are their concerns. How will you deal with them?” And David answers them, and Abner says, “Okay. I’m going to get all Israel together to my lord the king And we’ll crown you king.” He’s calling David his king.

E. It’s totally peaceful. No domineering, no demands. It’s peaceful. Abner is negotiating and dealing in good faith, honestly and sincerely. He is on David’s side and he’s unifying the tribes under David.

5. Just as everything is going so well, Joab kills Abner, vv. 22-27.

A. After this last meeting with Abner and his men, and they’ve just left, in comes Joab back from a raid on their enemies. He hears that Abner’s been there and gone.

B. He tells David, “What did you do? You had him in your hands and you let him get away! He’s a spy! He’s dangerous! You can’t trust him!”

C. So Joab sends messengers and asks Abner to turn back for something. Abner trusts David’s messengers. He is not thinking that Joab is out to get him or anything.

D. But Joab is out to get Abner. He hates Abner for killing his brother Asahel. Joab has kept his hatred secret. David doesn’t seem to know about this, neither does Abner.

E. Joab says as natural as anything, “Hey, Abner, c’mere, let’s talk.” And then he stabs Abner and kills him. And Joab’s other brother Abishai is in this as well.

6. David is furious and weakened, vv. 28-39.

A. David declares his innocence because it looks bad to all Israel. It lookslike he ordered his nephew, the commander of his army, to hit Abner. He didn’t!

B. He puts this all on Joab and curses his whole family. May they be unclean, sick, namby-pambies, who live in poverty and get killed in battle.

C. This undermines everything that David stands for and all that he is called by God to do.

1. He is to shepherd God’s people, not mistreat and oppress them.

2. He wants to rule in peace, with covenant love and truth.

3. This goes against God’s principles. Vengeance belongs to God, not man. There should have been a trial. There should have been justice.

D. No, Joab takes things into his own hands, he hates, he judges, he executes his revenge. He’s satisfied, and he’s the only one who is. David says you rip your clothes and you mourn, do you hear my voice? And Joab does it but he doesn’t mean it, and David knows he doesn’t mean it.

E. And David is king but he can’t do anything to Joab, because he’s his nephew and he’s too high in his government. David is weakened even though he is the king.

7. So what? Abner illustrates to us repentance.

A. Before he repented Abner did what he thought was best, and ended up fighting against his nation, his true king David, and even his own life.

B. But he changed his mind and he changed his allegiance. That’s repentance.

1. You change your mind first. You come to your senses and realise, “I’ve been wrong. I’m naturally opposing Jesus Christ, the ruler appointed by God!”

2. Because you change your mind you change your life. You stop going your own way and you go God’s way. Like Abner, you enthrone God’s king Jesus in your life.

3. Not only is Jesus king of your life, you work for His purposes, to bring your nation under Him. People have objections, you work with them. You were doing your own thing before, now you’re doing His thing. Jesus is gentle and mild, you are gentle and mild because now you’re representing Him.

C. Especially you forgive everyone. Just like Jesus forgave those who were crucifying Him. This is real changing your mind, this is real repentance. Since Jesus lives in you, you have the power to forgive like Jesus. You forgive everyone who has insulted or hurt you.

D. Jesus commanded you to forgive everyone for very good reasons.

1. Bitterness and hatred are sins against God first. Leviticus 19:17-18 You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD. You can’t love the Lord your God and hate your neighbor.

2. When we don’t forgive someone we misrepresent Jesus in the same way that Joab did a bad job of representing David to all Israel. Jesus said, “All men will know you are My disciples if you love one another.” But if we don’t love, then no one will know we are His disciples. He won’t be visible among us as we love everyone. There are too many churches where love is not the main thing on display. People see people just like them, no different.

3. If you don’t forgive others, Jesus will not forgive you. He taught His disciples to pray, forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And He goes on to say, if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. He links them together.

E. Bitterness is a sin and it is so unpleasant to live in bitterness. There is no joy, no satisfaction, no peace, in bitterness.

F. Forgiveness is in your best interest.

1. It’s so much better to surrender to Jesus and call it a sin. No matter who it is, no matter what they have done.

2. Jesus can deal with those people who have hurt you better than you can. When you forgive you are getting out of His way. You are letting Him deal with things, as it ought to be.

3. When you forgive Jesus will free you from the continual pain, the unhappiness of being bitter.

G. This morning we’re having communion. It’s the perfect time to let go of hatred, resentment, irritation, bitterness. Confess it as sin to God. Let the blood of Jesus cleanse you from all sin. Receive forgiveness from God. Then forgive from your heart. Today we want to remember that I am forgiven so I forgive everyone.

Let’s pray.