Death Is Not God’s Way • 2 Samuel 13

51:24 Teaching begins

Notes

This chapter illustrates Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.

We begin a new section here, David’s life after his sin with Bathsheba and her husband Uriah. God’s judgment was that David would experience fourfold the things he did to others. When you sow a seed it results in multiplying what you sowed. David sowed a sin that multiplied its effect in his life and his families’ lives.

It’s a painful thing to watch, so why do it? The Apostle Paul points out: These things were written for our instruction so that we should not do as they did.

Think about this: There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.

If the way you’re on isn’t God’s way it has to end in death.

I’m reading 2 Samuel 13.

1. Amnon is thinking about sex, vv. 1-2.

A. We are introduced to several people. Who are they?

1. Amnon is David’s firstborn son from his wife Ahinoam the Jezreelitess. He married her after he had to flee from Saul and left his first wife, Saul’s daughter Michal. Ahinoam is his second wife.

2. Wife number two was Abigail from Carmel. She doesn’t come into this account, but just to keep things straight.

3. Absalom is first son of wife number three, Maacah, daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur. Tamar is his full sister, they both have the same father and mother. He is really handsome, she is very beautiful.

B. Amnon says he really loves his half sister Tamar. Is that true?

1. He thinks about her constantly.

2. But he’s frustrated because he can’t have her. It was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. She is his half-sister and marriage and intimate relations are forbidden by Leviticus 18.

3. If you love someone you want the very best for them. Your happiness comes from that person experiencing care, protection, blessing. If Amnon loved Tamar he would work to make her life better.

4. He wants her, not to make her life better, but to make his life better. He wants to have sex with her. As far as Amnon is concerned, these stupid commandments are in my way. They keep me from her.

5. Again, he is thinking about this so much that it’s affecting him physically. Love doesn’t affect you this way; it’s healthy and peaceful. Lust does affect you physically because it’s unhealthy for your mind, and the mental stress affects your body.

C. This relationship is forbidden by the law of God but he wants it anyway. Where did he develop this great lust for what he can’t have?

1. Big lust comes from feeding small lust. When you indulge lust you don’t get satisfaction. You increase your desire.

2. The desire drives you to feed it with more indulgence.

3. It’s like trying to quench your thirst by drinking the wrong thing. You can’t drink salt water and be satisfied. Drinking what you should not drink only makes you thirstier.

4. I think it likely that Amnon indulged himself in what he could have, lots of women, until he lusted for what he could not have. It was all against the law anyway. Going after his sister is just the next step in a long line of immoral behavior.

2. Amnon has a friend who helps him get what he wants, vv. 3-5.

A. Jonadab is the son of Shimeah, who is David’s older brother. So Jonadab and Amnon are cousins. He’s also Tamar’s cousin for all that.

B. But Jonadab is not really Amnon’s friend.

1. A real friend would also look out for your best interests and encourage you to be the best person you can be. A friend is faithful to tell you what you need to hear. Amnon, you’re going in the wrong direction. This is not healthy, it’s not going to end well because it’s against the will of God. You are seeking death.

2. Ah, but Jonadab tells Amnon what he wants to hear. “You want to get her alone? That’s easy. Pretend to be sick, get David to send Tamar to you to nurse you back to health. Get her to make food for you and get her to feed you in your bedroom. You know what to do after that.”

3. Jonadab is not out for Amnon’s benefit, he’s there for his own benefit. Cousin gets to hang with prince, cousin gets prince what he wants, cousin gets rewarded by prince. The name for this is hanger-on, one that hangs around a person especially for personal gain. Because he’s only looking out for himself, he helps his cousin Tamar get raped, and Amnon is going to be killed. Does he care? He’s out for himself.

3. The plan works, vv. 6-14.

A. Tamar tries to get Amnon to think about the consequences:

1. It’s shamefully against the law of God. It is not done in Israel.

2. It would be devastating to me, do you realise this?

3. It would be just as bad for you: this is self-destruction. You will be known as a fool in Israel.

4. Speak to the king—we can do this right. Now who knows what David would say? But at least it is an alternative and it would buy her time.

B. But Amnon is done thinking. He has thought so much about sex with Tamar that he’s not thinking about anything else. He is unreasonable like an animal that can’t think or reason.

4. The aftermath is dissatisfaction and ruin, 15-22.

A. Amnon hates Tamar afterwards. It’s not surprising.

1. He fully expected to be satisfied by achieving what he was obsessing over.  This is going to be it! This is all I want.

2. But it didn’t satisfy him because sin can’t satisfy. It pollutes and it takes life. He’s killed a little bit more of himself. It’s in the biblical language. A person who keeps the law is complete, whole, unblemished. The one who breaks the law breaks himself.

B. And he blames his brokenness on her. You worthless thing, you let me down. She’s a reminder that he’s a twisted person.

C. He gets rid of her. And it’s devastating to her.

D. She goes to Absalom and he comforts her.

E. David is really angry. But he doesn’t do anything about it.

1. Amnon is a grown man, not a kid you can spank. It way too late for spanking.

2. Should David execute Amnon? David should have been executed. He did worse than Amnon. Some people say David doesn’t do anything because he lost the moral high ground. I myself don’t know what I would do. It’s a mess.

5. Absalom is thinking about murder. He plans his revenge carefully, like Mission: Impossible, vv. 23-39.

A. He takes two years to devise and carry out his plan.

B. He does it during sheep shearing time. It’s a happy time, you always have a feast and rejoicing. It’s a family time. Your guard is down.

C. The real impossible point is to get David to send Amnon to Absalom.

1. It’s poetic justice. David is manipulated like he did to Uriah. David was manipulated into sending Tamar to Amnon. Absalom is going to manipulate David into sending him Amnon.

2. So Absalom invites David knowing full well that it would be too much. David’s entourage would be too much to provide for. Thanks, son, but you know, I got the Secret Service and all the Members of Parliament to think about. Nice thought but it’s not really practical.

3. Well, okay, why don’t you send the rest of the family? It’d be nice to have everyone together, even Amnon, c’mon. For family’s sake? David pushes back: “Really? You want Amnon, huh? That’s not like you.” But Absalom works on David so he finally says, “Okay, I’ll have everyone come over.”

4. This is really necessary because if David says go, then it must be safe. Amnon won’t suspect a thing and he will come. After David gives the go-ahead, Absalom knows the plan is going to work.

D. So Amnon parties, he gets drunk, as Absalom expected he would. He’s happy, he’s unsuspecting, and when Absalom gives the signal, all the servants around him kill him.

E. The aftermath is confusion, shock, grief. Absalom flees to his grandfather for three years. The one who wanted justice is now a fugitive from justice. David gets over losing Amnon and begins to think of Absalom. We leave it here for now.

6. So what?

A. There is a way that seems right to a man. But what does God say about it?

B. We are shown what ways these men thought about, and in both cases it wasn’t the word of God. Both of them thought about themselves, and satisfying themselves. I want sex. I want vengeance. They meditated, but not about the word of God.

C. What they meditated on acted like a train track that led directly to their ruin, destruction, and death.

D. The Bible is going to make you think differently than you would choose to think. You will think about love, holiness, purity, self-control, the fear of God, eternal judgment, eternity, pleasing God. When you submit to thinking what God says to think about you will live radically different, to please God, and not yourself.

E. The Apostle Paul says in Romans 8:6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. You think about seeking your own satisfaction, you will pursue death. You think about the things of the Spirit from the Bible, you will pursue life and peace.

F. Will you take this seriously and pursue God’s thoughts? Will you give yourself to learning the way He thinks? This is God’s calling for you!

1. Isaiah 55:8-9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

2. Godliness begins with meditating on the word of God. That is like a train track that leads directly to life.

3. But there’s a way that seems right to a man that leads to death. If you choose to think any other way you are choosing death.

G. It’s a simple decision that has life-changing consequences. Set your heart to learn and obey God’s word.

Let’s pray.